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英語(yǔ)大賽獲獎(jiǎng)作文范文
英語(yǔ)大賽獲獎(jiǎng)作文范文
本期點(diǎn)評(píng)專家：
趙秀鳳，中國(guó)石油大學(xué)外國(guó)語(yǔ)學(xué)院教授、博士，全國(guó)英語(yǔ)創(chuàng)新大賽顧問(wèn)委員會(huì)副主任，第十屆、第十—屆全國(guó)創(chuàng)新英語(yǔ)大賽評(píng)委。
參賽佳作
姓名：張雅婷
學(xué)校：淄博市實(shí)驗(yàn)中學(xué)
成績(jī)：96
A letter to my Mom
Dear Mom,
I´m writing this letter, filled with guilt andanxiety. But I still have to tell you: I´ve run awayfrom home with my boyfriend-Tony. In fact, weclicked straightaway at first sight. Ilove the tattooon his body which has a variety of pattems. Ofcourse, he has a few girlfriends and we fell outa cmlple oftimes about tbis. Things are gettingbetter these days, because I was pregnant andhe swore that he would be loyal to me only sincethen.
By the way, Tony is slightly older than me(48-year-old man , not too old in the present so-ciety, righf？). However, we have no money atpresent, so we intend to move to a desert islandand build a cosy cabin in wbich we can leadour own jolly life for the rest of our lives. Afterwe have gotten used to our new life, we plan togrow marijuana to earn money for bis AIDS treat-ment. I pray he can get well soon, Amen!
I hope youjust haven´t fainted till now,Mom. Then you can turn the letter over.
Wbat you have just read is not tnie. Pleaseforgive me for using such an absurd way to let youImow there are many things in the world which arefar worse than I get grade L111 less than A or at-tending a sleep over. I´m still in the bloom of yo-uth and I´m full of energy .I bave passion for dan-cing, sports, etc. I´ve yeamed for choosing myown extracurricular activities for long. However,I can hardly breathe under your tough restriction.And it doesn´t make sense to even forbid mebeing in a school play. An excellent girl do-esn´t just mean good grades. In addition tothis , success is not always about control, it´salso about letting go. Leave me more freespace and I´ll do better, I promise.
Yours truly,
Your daughter
May 31th, 2011
專家點(diǎn)評(píng)；
這封信開(kāi)頭，作者給媽媽開(kāi)了一個(gè)玩笑，說(shuō)了一個(gè)荒謬而又有趣的'故事，吸引讀者眼球，激發(fā)讀者興趣。借這個(gè)故事，作者表示自己是個(gè)乖巧的女兒，但是渴望能拋開(kāi)束縛、獲得自由，從而表達(dá)了自己對(duì)“虎媽”式教育的看法。文章結(jié)構(gòu)新穎，富有創(chuàng)意；思路清晰，語(yǔ)句靈活，說(shuō)服力強(qiáng)。不足之處是個(gè)別語(yǔ)句之間的邏輯不夠清晰，存在連接詞缺失、使用不當(dāng)?shù)默F(xiàn)象。
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